I can remember staring at the magazine in Tesco through blurred eyes caused by months and months of sleepless nights.
“How I lost the baby weight in 7 weeks” was the headline. I then remember casting my eyes over the magazines near by all with similar headlines.
“How I lost 30 lbs in 2 weeks”………”Bikini body after baby”……
We live in a world obsessed with how we look. Bombarded with pictures of celebrities and their beautiful perfect bodies. The fact is they aren’t all that perfect without graphics to touch them up. The fact is they have spent hours in make up, they can afford daily personal trainers, stylists and cooks as well as a nanny (or two) to help with childcare. However even though I have named but a few of the reasons why this particular celebrity caught my eye, it doesn’t change the fact that this and the other front cover stories, made me feel unhappy about the way I looked.
At the time I was a full time mum to a small baby that fed all day and all night on my enormous uncomfortable breasts! My baby refused to take a bottle whether it was filled with breast milk or formula. Due to this I couldn’t ask anyone to help with the night shift and without any family around I was well and truly on duty 7 days a week 24 hours per day. I no longer had time for myself, the 5am walk to the seafront with baby in pram praying that he would sleep became a frequent morning task. I would often leave the house without brushing my hair or cleaning my teeth in a desperate bid to get my screaming child to sleep.
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP that’s all I could think about! Sure I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw; my usually dyed blonde hair was falling out, it was brittle and had months of dark root regrowth. My skin was also suffering as my hungry baby constantly feeding made me dehydrated. I remember glancing in a shop window and not recognising myself, my shoulders were starting to round from constantly holding my baby and pushing the pram.
I loved my child but I really wasn’t in a happy place. At the time I was obsessed with reading sleep books, routines, early weaning anything to get a few hours consecutive sleep. My family thought I may have depression but my doctor told me I wasn’t depressed, I was severely sleep deprived and that I needed help with the baby and time for me! How was that going to happen? I remember thinking……’Hugo doesn’t take a bottle, we have no family near by, my friends all work or have small babies, we are doing a house renovation and my partner works full time!’
Sleep deprivation was killing me, it is a recognised and extremely effective method of torture!
Anyway in a weird way the words on the front of the magazine did help me. I decided to sell my car and the money went towards childcare and personal training sessions. I wasn’t after the gorgeous body that the celebrity had, but I was after a little bit of the old me. For some reason I thought asking for some “me” time was a little selfish and self indulgent and I thought that asking for “help” meant I was a failure in some way. Yet deep down I knew that doing something for me was going to make me feel better and give me more confidence. I wanted to become fitter and healthier and happier for us all.
The money that I spent on those 121 sessions was the best I have ever spent. I didn’t come out with the body beautiful like the computer touched up one on the cover of the magazine, but I did come out pounds lighter, toned and stronger with a flatter stomach. I held myself better and was aware of the rounded shoulders and tucked under bum posture I had adopted since giving birth. I changed my eating habits and stopped reaching for quick fix happy foods. Every training session I would turn up sleep deprived and I did find it a struggle. However I wasn’t trying to be the world’s strongest, fittest mum therefore the exercises were tailored to my needs that particular day. It’s also true what they say exercises releases your endorphins, your feel good hormone. That one hour a week for myself really made a huge difference. I no longer suffered with back and neck pains caused by my poor posture, my core muscles are trained and my tummy separation (although not completely fixed) is a lot better.
The biggest change however, was the return of my smile!
As a busy mom I’m sure you work hard caring for others. Find your motivation to reward yourself with just one hour a week for you! For me it was about being a happier more confident mum for Hugo. I didn’t want to be a mom that my child overheard constantly moaning about my weight, always trying the new fad diet and yoyo dieting. I strive to be a mom that looks after her body and eats healthily in a world of convenience junk food.
That summer I sorted all my old summer clothes out, we had a holiday to pack for and I was packing my bikini!!!
It was hard work, it takes time and dedication, and as a mum it takes careful planning! As well as 121 sessions I attended classes that allowed me to bring my little one and I did my homework of 15 mins core exercise per day. On top of making me happier and healthier it gave me the confidence to further my fitness career. I achieved a high standard world wide recognised qualification in Stott Pilates, knowing it could help me help other mothers who were facing the struggles I know so well.
THE HARDEST PART OF MY FITNESS GOAL WAS TURNING UP
THE EASY PART WAS EXERCISING!